my life on shuffle
The changes of one year…
a plethora of pictures of my cats being lazy and cute.
Bring on the crazy cat lady jokes.
A few pictures from a very long walk
I am quite fond of food and of taking pictures of it.
A few cruddy pictures from a very windy day
My Summer Of Horror: Trick R Treat
My oh My was this movie a treat. My friend picked it off the Netflix cue as it seemed to be the lesser of most evils. He said he was told it was good…who am I to argue?
The description of the movie I believe says that on Halloween night evil is unleashed on a small town. Fair Enough.
The movie begins with a swift murder at the hands of a creepy little scarecrow child that seems to pop up a lot during the movie, I’m assuming he represents death.
There are so many intertwining plots in this movie I don’t have the time or energy to give a detailed description of each. There’s a terrible town secret, a coven of lesbian-esque werewolves, and a murderous principal living with his small son. The only plot line in this movie that has any resoltion is the town secret. Everything else leaves you with a big fat resounding WHY?
This movie is a gem in the sense that it’s so terrible it makes it awesome. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Best line of the movie:
Man to crotchety old man next door: “Happy Halloween”
Old Man’s Response: “Screw You!”
The other gem of the movie is a fight scene between the little scarecrow death guy and the crotchety old man. Turns out the scarecrow is a walking jack-o-lantern which you discover when he gets shot in the face with a shotgun and explodes pumpkin guts all over the place. It’s epic!
The ghouls in the movie are visually pretty cool. I really enjoyed that aspect of the movie. The werewolves are underwhelming, but also super unnecessary to the plot line and I think were just an excuse for nudity.
This movie had potential to be pretty great if they would have cut out all the extra crud that never got resolved anyway and focused on just one plot line it would have been much better. However, if you go into this movie knowing you’re going to watch something pretty awful it’s really entertaining. I have a feeling it will make it into my yearly Halloween movie regimen.
My Summer Of Horror: Dracula 2000
I watched this movie a long time ago…like around the 4th of July long time ago. It’s driven me nuts because I honestly am at a loss for what to say about it. To put it simply, it’s exactly what you should expect from something with Wes Craven’s name on it. Although I’m confused about his involvement in the film. He neither wrote nor directed the movie. It simply says Presented By Wes Craven. I’m assuming that means he was a major financial backer and pulled the strings in the background to make the movie something he’d want to put his name on.
It’s an OK movie. I’d probably watch it again if I caught it on cable or something like that. This movie really fits the mold of what the title suggests. What I mean by that is that it lives up to the hard hitting action that one would expect from anything cashing in on the hype that was the year 2000 new millennium bull crap. It’s movies like this that paved the way for movies like Underworld and Constantine that had bigger budgets, better actors and were much more successful. It’s quitchy very much so how everything now is called HD, it’s a very loosely defined concept.
I liked the beginning concept of a movie. It begins with a Van Helsing character who has taken it upon himself to be the guardian of Dracula’s body and has made it is quest to keep him contained so as not to unleash him into the world. Enter money hungry fools who break into Van Helsing’s safe and steal the casket containing Dracula believing that there is valuable treasure hidden inside. The rest of the movie becomes your typical race against time to defeat Dracula yada yada yada, some tie in with Van Helsing’s daughter and a vague love interest of hers that is barely interesting…and then the movie gets weird.
It turns out that in this depiction of Dracula, he is actually Judas. Yepp…the betrayer of Christ. He meets his end by getting hung from the neck on a neon cross and there are some flash backs to him hanging himself in biblical times. It’s all wrapped up in to one neatly weird little package. This puts this movie into the category of a million movies that would play off the faults of Christianity and turn a commonly critisized faith into a horror story. Just like The Exorsist or Stigmata, or the previously named Constantine just to list a few.
So to recap: Van Helsing, Dracula, A Heist, Action, A love Story, Judas, The End. This movie was so many different things hence why I think it left me at a lack for words on how to describe it. If you like vampires (like I so unabashedly do) then it’s worth the watch. If not, I’d skip it.
Chicago by Tim Jarosz
